Mowing Lawns in Your Underwear

Day 23: Oatmeal rations are running low. I don’t know how much longer I can last on my brown sugar flavored breakfast. Morning minutes are counted by small bites of beige flakes. I will likely have to reup on this flavorless grain (it’s a grain right?) soon and continue exploiting it for its low cost and semi-nutritional value. lol I actually don’t really mind oatmeal much. 

In other news I continue to maintain a surplus of chocolate! Quantity over quality these days, and in a variety of  complexions. 

UPDATE: I have left my bag of chocolate on a bus. I’m falling into despair like cacao percentages dropping from dark to milk. 

It’s rather surprising how few other Americans I have met along the way. Maybe most fear the label of being a deserter these days. Side note, I have not applied for any foreign citizenship… yet. Kyle Valenzuela already has 3 Asian applications open however. (Just making sure you’re reading this buddy) On the topic of things with Americana, I highly recommend the book Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche. Try saying that name with a mouth full of oatmeal! Anyway, Americanah was the 

And I find it to be

And so does my bud D. Egg. To summarize the plot:

Truthfully I find the story to be quite relevant as a foreigner in a new environment. 

Things that New Zealand does better than the US:

  1. A lot of stuff
  2. Cafe’s

Cafes are everywhere and it’s great. I’ll admit to coffee being the one non necessary spending I treat myself to. There is nothing better than plopping yourself down at a foreign cafe with a coffee and possible pastry. This can be accompanied by a book, camera, phone with wifi or just a good view for people watching. The cafe is guaranteed to have drinking water, a clean restroom and an often hospitable staff accommodating to your travel baggage – physical and emotional. For days on the trail I bring a French press, obviously. 


Shout out to my Wellington bro Tate for the hookup on the last two. Go check out Lamason in Wellington if you get the chance and say what’s up to Tate for me. His hospitality at Lamason and again later when I serendipitously ran into Tate and mates at the botanical gardens has earned him this weeks spotlight honors. A true bro with an equal knowledge of coffee brewing and hip hop. Thanks for the authentic Wellington experience ma dude. 

One topic I wish I could better document is the lawn mowing in NZ. What I mean is, everyday seeing men mowing their lawns in short shorts/underwear and colorful T’s/wife-beaters. This grass-cutting ensemble is often accompanied by rain boots. I am convinced that the grass they are cutting may not even be theirs, but just the closest, most publicly viewable, patch of grass – likely not even in need of trimming. While it is often raining in NZ, the sun is always shining on these debonair heroes and their haute couture. Keep fighting the good fight. 

All in all, the past 5 days or so have been pretty sweet

In the last week, I cruised 

up from Picton to Auckland a bit faster than I would have liked. Being on the road so much was no picnic

and at times I felt kinda city 

but as always, I was rewarded with amazing views

Ok I’ll stop horsing around…

One of my favorite nights was when I stumbled on a local food festival. It was music to my ears

I ate so much, by the time I went to bed, I was a happy

Written on multiple bus rides while being wiretapped by the Obama admin through my coffee cup. And to the mouth breather behind me who keeps farting, you’re not as fucking slick as you think you are bud. 

Oatmeal, banana, plum, peach, fried calamari, chips, blueberry & cream crepe, and 1. 

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